Take Control of Your Social Media

You’re scrolling through TikTok and pause to comment on a friend’s funny dance video. Then you switch over to Instagram to check on the adorable picture of your dog that you posted a few minutes ago. It’s gotten dozens of likes! You’re feeling pretty good . . . until you notice posts from a party you weren’t invited to, followed by a video of an influencer showing off designer clothes way out of your price range. Suddenly, you feel terrible—but you just can’t seem to put down your phone!

Social media apps were designed to help users connect. People can socialize with friends or find communities with shared interests. The apps can also be used for self-expression and to learn about different topics, opinions, and perspectives. But constantly checking updates, comparing your life with others, and encountering negative or harmful content can leave people feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and unhappy.

You scroll through TikTok and stop to comment on a friend’s funny dance video. Then you switch over to Instagram to check on that cute picture of your dog. You posted it just a few minutes ago. It has dozens of likes! You’re feeling pretty good. Then you notice posts from a party. You weren’t invited. Next you see a video of an influencer showing off designer clothes. They’re way out of your price range. Now you feel terrible. But you can’t seem to put your phone down!

Social media apps can help users connect. People socialize with friends or find communities with shared interests. They can use the apps for self-expression. And they can learn about different topics, opinions, and views. But people may also constantly check updates, compare their life with others, and see negative or harmful content. That can make them feel overwhelmed, insecure, and unhappy.

SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: Your feeds are full of content from friends and influencers showing off their fun vacations or extravagant lifestyles. Your life feels dull by comparison.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: You’ve come down with a case of FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” Feeling like other people’s lives are more interesting or exciting can be a blow to your self-esteem. Why does it seem like everyone on social media is crushing it but you?

WHAT CAN YOU DO? When using social media, remind yourself that posts don’t always give the full picture. The content that some people post online is an edited view of their life—and no one’s life is perfect. That reality check can help you move past the feelings of FOMO­—or at least quiet them. But if a certain account regularly makes you feel like your life doesn’t measure up, unfollow or mute it.

Social Media Scenario: Your feeds are full of content from friends and influencers. They show off their fun vacations or flashy lifestyles. That makes your life seem dull. 

How It Can Make You Feel: You have a case of FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” It feels like other people’s lives are more interesting or exciting. That can be a blow to your self-esteem. Why does everyone on social media seem to be crushing it but you?

What Can You Do? When you use social media, remember that posts don’t always give the full picture. Some people’s content is an edited view of their life. And no one’s life is perfect. That reality check can help you overcome the feelings of FOMO, or at least quiet them. But what if a certain account often makes you feel like your life doesn’t measure up? In that case, unfollow or mute it.

SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: A bully keeps pestering you at school, then goes online and posts mean things about you for everyone to see.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: Threats from a bully—both in real life and online—can make you feel unsafe and stressed out. Bullying existed long before social media, but now teens don’t have the ability to escape the harassment after school. A bully might decide to contact you or post things about you online. Every alert you receive on your phone makes you worried that it could be them!

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Because everyone is online, it’s rare for harassment to stop once kids and teens get home from school, says Dr. Megan Moreno, a pediatrician and co-director of the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health. “When you’re experiencing bullying, you’re experiencing it both online and offline,” she says. Most schools have zero-tolerance for any bullying—that means they take allegations seriously. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a bully, don’t delete their posts or messages—save them and report the situation and the evidence to a trusted adult.

Social Media Scenario: A bully bothers you at school. Then the bully goes online and posts mean things about you. Everyone can see the posts.

How It Can Make You Feel: Threats from a bully can make you feel unsafe and stressed out. That’s true both in real life and online. Bullying existed long before social media. But now teens can’t escape the harassment after school. A bully might contact you or post things about you online. Every time you get an alert on your phone, you worry. It could be them!

What Can You Do? Everyone is online, so harassment rarely stops after school, says Dr. Megan Moreno. She’s a pediatrician and co-director of the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health. “When you’re experiencing bullying, you’re experiencing it both online and offline,” she says. Most schools have zero-tolerance for any bullying. That means they take charges seriously. If you feel overwhelmed by a bully, don’t delete their posts or messages. Save them as evidence. Then report the situation to a trusted adult.

SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: It’s almost midnight. You’ve got class early in the morning and really should get to sleep, but you just can’t seem to stop checking your social media feeds.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: Tech companies add features such as infinite scrolling, notifications, and autoplay for audio and video to keep people glued to their apps. As a result, many teens end up addicted to their phones. Getting caught up in all that scrolling may cause you to lose track of time. It’s no wonder 72 percent of teens say they don’t get the 8 to 10 hours of rest they need each night!

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Notice how much time you’re spending on social media and what you’re getting out of it. Do you feel good after scrolling? Is it keeping you from more important activities like homework, sleeping, or hanging out with friends? Set a daily limit and a cutoff time for phone use—at least an hour before you plan to go to bed. Phones also allow you to temporarily disable apps and turn off notifications for a bit to help give your brain a break.

Social Media Scenario: It’s almost midnight. You have class early in the morning and should get to sleep. But you just can’t stop checking your social media feeds.

How It Can Make You Feel: Tech companies add features to keep people glued to their apps. These include endless scrolling, notifications, and autoplay for audio and video. As a result, many teens become addicted to their phones. When you get caught up in scrolling, you may lose track of time. Teens need 8 to 10 hours of rest each night. But 72 percent of teens say they don’t get that much!

What Can You Do? Notice the amount of time you spend on social media and its effects on you. Do you feel good after scrolling? Does it keep you from more important activities? For example, does it affect homework, sleep, or hanging out with friends? Set a daily limit and a cutoff time for phone use. Make it at least an hour before bedtime. On your phone, you can also disable apps and turn off notifications for a while. That will help give your brain a break.