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Take Control of Your Social Media

How you can make online interactions less stressful

December 16, 2024
By Andrew Klein

AS YOU READ, think about how exposure to content on social media can impact someone’s mental health.

You’re scrolling through TikTok and pause to comment on a friend’s funny dance video. Then you switch over to Instagram to check on the adorable picture of your dog that you posted a few minutes ago. It’s gotten dozens of likes! You’re feeling pretty good . . . until you notice posts from a party you weren’t invited to, followed by a video of an influencer showing off designer clothes way out of your price range. Suddenly, you feel terrible—but you just can’t seem to put down your phone!

Social media apps were designed to help users connect. People can socialize with friends or find communities with shared interests. The apps can also be used for self-expression and to learn about different topics, opinions, and perspectives. But constantly checking updates, comparing your life with others, and encountering negative or harmful content can leave people feeling overwhelmed, insecure, and unhappy.

You scroll through TikTok and stop to comment on a friend’s funny dance video. Then you switch over to Instagram to check on that cute picture of your dog. You posted it just a few minutes ago. It has dozens of likes! You’re feeling pretty good. Then you notice posts from a party. You weren’t invited. Next you see a video of an influencer showing off designer clothes. They’re way out of your price range. Now you feel terrible. But you can’t seem to put your phone down!

Social media apps can help users connect. People socialize with friends or find communities with shared interests. They can use the apps for self-expression. And they can learn about different topics, opinions, and views. But people may also constantly check updates, compare their life with others, and see negative or harmful content. That can make them feel overwhelmed, insecure, and unhappy.

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U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy

Some experts, including U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy, have raised concerns about social media’s effects on teens. As Surgeon General, Murthy is responsible for protecting and improving the health and safety of Americans. This past June, he recommended that tech companies add warnings to social media platforms. This would help increase awareness about risks to teens’ mental health. He cited a study that found adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media are more likely to report feelings of anxiety (excessive worry) or depression (persistent feelings of sadness).

But don’t worry—you don’t need to delete your apps. There are ways to improve your well-being while staying active on social media. Read about four common, stressful situations you might face online—and ways to handle them.

Some experts are concerned about social media’s effects on teens. U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is one of them. The Surgeon General’s job is to protect and improve the health and safety of Americans. This past June, Murthy called for tech companies to add warnings to social media platforms. This would help increase awareness about risks to teens’ mental health. He pointed to a study on adolescents’ social media use. It showed that those who spend more than three hours a day on social media are more likely to experience anxiety (excessive worry) or depression (lasting feelings of sadness). 

But you don’t need to delete your apps. You can improve your well-being and still stay active on social media. Read about four common, stressful situations you might face online. And learn how to handle them. 

OH NO, FOMO!

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SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: Your feeds are full of content from friends and influencers showing off their fun vacations or extravagant lifestyles. Your life feels dull by comparison.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: You’ve come down with a case of FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” Feeling like other people’s lives are more interesting or exciting can be a blow to your self-esteem. Why does it seem like everyone on social media is crushing it but you?

WHAT CAN YOU DO? When using social media, remind yourself that posts don’t always give the full picture. The content that some people post online is an edited view of their life—and no one’s life is perfect. That reality check can help you move past the feelings of FOMO­—or at least quiet them. But if a certain account regularly makes you feel like your life doesn’t measure up, unfollow or mute it.

Social Media Scenario: Your feeds are full of content from friends and influencers. They show off their fun vacations or flashy lifestyles. That makes your life seem dull. 

How It Can Make You Feel: You have a case of FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” It feels like other people’s lives are more interesting or exciting. That can be a blow to your self-esteem. Why does everyone on social media seem to be crushing it but you?

What Can You Do? When you use social media, remember that posts don’t always give the full picture. Some people’s content is an edited view of their life. And no one’s life is perfect. That reality check can help you overcome the feelings of FOMO, or at least quiet them. But what if a certain account often makes you feel like your life doesn’t measure up? In that case, unfollow or mute it.

NO ESCAPE

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SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: A bully keeps pestering you at school, then goes online and posts mean things about you for everyone to see.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: Threats from a bully—both in real life and online—can make you feel unsafe and stressed out. Bullying existed long before social media, but now teens don’t have the ability to escape the harassment after school. A bully might decide to contact you or post things about you online. Every alert you receive on your phone makes you worried that it could be them!

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Because everyone is online, it’s rare for harassment to stop once kids and teens get home from school, says Dr. Megan Moreno, a pediatrician and co-director of the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health. “When you’re experiencing bullying, you’re experiencing it both online and offline,” she says. Most schools have zero-tolerance for any bullying—that means they take allegations seriously. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a bully, don’t delete their posts or messages—save them and report the situation and the evidence to a trusted adult.

Social Media Scenario: A bully bothers you at school. Then the bully goes online and posts mean things about you. Everyone can see the posts.

How It Can Make You Feel: Threats from a bully can make you feel unsafe and stressed out. That’s true both in real life and online. Bullying existed long before social media. But now teens can’t escape the harassment after school. A bully might contact you or post things about you online. Every time you get an alert on your phone, you worry. It could be them!

What Can You Do? Everyone is online, so harassment rarely stops after school, says Dr. Megan Moreno. She’s a pediatrician and co-director of the Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health. “When you’re experiencing bullying, you’re experiencing it both online and offline,” she says. Most schools have zero-tolerance for any bullying. That means they take charges seriously. If you feel overwhelmed by a bully, don’t delete their posts or messages. Save them as evidence. Then report the situation to a trusted adult.

NEVER-ENDING SCROLL

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SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: It’s almost midnight. You’ve got class early in the morning and really should get to sleep, but you just can’t seem to stop checking your social media feeds.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: Tech companies add features such as infinite scrolling, notifications, and autoplay for audio and video to keep people glued to their apps. As a result, many teens end up addicted to their phones. Getting caught up in all that scrolling may cause you to lose track of time. It’s no wonder 72 percent of teens say they don’t get the 8 to 10 hours of rest they need each night!

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Notice how much time you’re spending on social media and what you’re getting out of it. Do you feel good after scrolling? Is it keeping you from more important activities like homework, sleeping, or hanging out with friends? Set a daily limit and a cutoff time for phone use—at least an hour before you plan to go to bed. Phones also allow you to temporarily disable apps and turn off notifications for a bit to help give your brain a break.

Social Media Scenario: It’s almost midnight. You have class early in the morning and should get to sleep. But you just can’t stop checking your social media feeds.

How It Can Make You Feel: Tech companies add features to keep people glued to their apps. These include endless scrolling, notifications, and autoplay for audio and video. As a result, many teens become addicted to their phones. When you get caught up in scrolling, you may lose track of time. Teens need 8 to 10 hours of rest each night. But 72 percent of teens say they don’t get that much!

What Can You Do? Notice the amount of time you spend on social media and its effects on you. Do you feel good after scrolling? Does it keep you from more important activities? For example, does it affect homework, sleep, or hanging out with friends? Set a daily limit and a cutoff time for phone use. Make it at least an hour before bedtime. On your phone, you can also disable apps and turn off notifications for a while. That will help give your brain a break.

BAD VIBES

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SOCIAL MEDIA SCENARIO: Filters and photo editing can make people look flawless on social media. But sometimes, that makes you feel bad about your own appearance.

HOW IT CAN MAKE YOU FEEL: Teens often stumble upon posts that make them feel insecure about the way they look, says Moreno. “Let’s say a kid does some exploring about fitness, and suddenly they start getting some really negative body-shaming content in their feeds.” In fact, a 2022 study from Boston Children’s Hospital Wellness Lab in Massachusetts found that nearly half of adolescents say social media content makes them feel worse about their bodies.

WHAT CAN YOU DO? Some content from influencers look like posts but are really advertisements with photos professionally edited to look flawless. These ads are designed to make you feel like you need to buy a product they’re promoting to look like or feel happy like the influencer. When you view these posts, this tells an app’s algorithm—instructions that run the software—to add similar content to your feed. So the next time you see an offensive or upsetting post, don’t interact. Block, hide, unfollow, or report it. Only like or comment on posts that make you feel good, and you’ll see more mood-boosting content!

Social Media Scenario: Filters and photo editing can make people look flawless on social media. But that can make you feel bad about your own appearance.

How It Can Make You Feel: Teens often come across posts that make them feel insecure about their appearance, says Moreno. “Let’s say a kid does some exploring about fitness, and suddenly they start getting some really negative body-shaming content in their feeds.” In 2022, Boston Children’s Hospital Wellness Lab in Massachusetts did a study. Nearly half of adolescents in the study said social media content makes them feel worse about their bodies.

What Can You Do? Some content from influencers may look like posts. But they’re really advertisements. The photos look flawless because they’re professionally edited. These ads promote a product. They’re designed to convince you that you need to buy it, so you’ll look like or feel happy like the influencer. The app’s software runs on instructions called an algorithm. When you view these posts, the algorithm adds similar content to your feed. So don’t interact with an offensive or upsetting post. Block, hide, unfollow, or report it. Only like or comment on posts that make you feel good. Then you’ll see more mood-boosting content!

TAKE BACK YOUR APPS

If you’re finding it hard to ignore social media, here are some ways to cut down your screen time.

If you’re finding it hard to ignore social media, here are some ways to cut down your screen time.


THE FEATURE: Push Notifications

THE FIX: Go to Settings. Pause all notifications when you need a break from social media. You can always turn them back on when you want to reconnect.


THE FEATURE: Push Notifications

THE FIX: Go to Settings. Pause all notifications when you need a break from social media. You can always turn them back on when you want to reconnect.


THE FEATURE: Autoplay videos

THE FIX: In YouTube, click on the user icon at the right, then go into settings and turn Autoplay off.


THE FEATURE: Autoplay videos

THE FIX: In YouTube, click on the user icon at the right, then go into settings and turn Autoplay off.


THE FEATURE: Easily accessible apps

THE FIX: Put apps into folders instead of on your phone’s home screen so you have to make an effort to open them.


THE FEATURE: Easily accessible apps

THE FIX: Put apps into folders instead of on your phone’s home screen so you have to make an effort to open them.


THE FEATURE: Privacy settings

THE FIX: Set accounts to private so only approved people can interact with you. It’s the best way to stay safe online!


THE FEATURE: Privacy settings

THE FIX: Set accounts to private so only approved people can interact with you. It’s the best way to stay safe online!


THE FEATURE: Posts and comments

THE FIX: Don’t respond to requests from strangers. Don’t post things you don’t want to be shared. Be respectful of others’ posts and don’t reply with negative comments.


THE FEATURE: Posts and comments

THE FIX: Don’t respond to requests from strangers. Don’t post things you don’t want to be shared. Be respectful of others’ posts and don’t reply with negative comments.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RYAN OLBRYSH

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RYAN OLBRYSH

TAKE BACK YOUR APPS

If you’re finding it hard to ignore social media, here are some ways to cut down your screen time.

If you’re finding it hard to ignore social media, here are some ways to cut down your screen time.


THE FEATURE: Push Notifications

THE FIX: Go to Settings. Pause all notifications when you need a break from social media. You can always turn them back on when you want to reconnect.


THE FEATURE: Push Notifications

THE FIX: Go to Settings. Pause all notifications when you need a break from social media. You can always turn them back on when you want to reconnect.


THE FEATURE: Autoplay videos

THE FIX: In YouTube, click on the user icon at the right, then go into settings and turn Autoplay off.


THE FEATURE: Autoplay videos

THE FIX: In YouTube, click on the user icon at the right, then go into settings and turn Autoplay off.


THE FEATURE: Easily accessible apps

THE FIX: Put apps into folders instead of on your phone’s home screen so you have to make an effort to open them.


THE FEATURE: Easily accessible apps

THE FIX: Put apps into folders instead of on your phone’s home screen so you have to make an effort to open them.


THE FEATURE: Privacy settings

THE FIX: Set accounts to private so only approved people can interact with you. It’s the best way to stay safe online!


THE FEATURE: Privacy settings

THE FIX: Set accounts to private so only approved people can interact with you. It’s the best way to stay safe online!


THE FEATURE: Posts and comments

THE FIX: Don’t respond to requests from strangers. Don’t post things you don’t want to be shared. Be respectful of others’ posts and don’t reply with negative comments.


THE FEATURE: Posts and comments

THE FIX: Don’t respond to requests from strangers. Don’t post things you don’t want to be shared. Be respectful of others’ posts and don’t reply with negative comments.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RYAN OLBRYSH

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RYAN OLBRYSH

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